come find me

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She stood on the precipice, hugging her pale arms to her chest and staring at the gray ocean. The tugging. The tugging was there again, pulling her heart so hard she thought she might tumble off the cliff into the churning waters below.

Everything seemed only to be a weak reflection of Something.

She closed her eyes, breathing slowly and deeply. There was more. There had to be more. Her heart beat, one after another, pounding beneath her frail chest. Alive. Pulsing. Blood throbbing through her veins. There had to be more.

Holding out her shaking hands in front of her, she stared at the scars lining her fingers, the callouses on her palms, the fine prints planted in her skin. She could love. She could feel beauty, joy, and pain far surpassing the boundaries of physicality. Boring her eyes into her hands, she searched. Searched for something underneath the skin, the flesh, and the bone. Where was she? Her body encompassed her, trapping her into the solid tangibility of earth. But she was more. Something more than physicality, more than breath, more than mortal life.

The tugging at her heart pulled her again. She looked across the ocean. The churning, moving ocean. There was more. There was something past the skyline, the earth, the stars. She was more. She was more than all she had learned. She was more than all she had done. She was more than mortality.

She was immortal. She was more.

There was Someone. There was Something. It beamed at her from the galaxies. It spoke to her from the stars. It was beyond everything any earthly being had ever known.

She belonged There.

Melodies whispered in her ears. Bright turquoise, orange, and vivid pinks burst from the horizon. There was Light. There was Love. There was so much more than she had ever known. With her voice screaming in her chest, she released her clenched fists and allowed the winds to wash over her face.

Come find me.

--

 "For now we see in a mirror dimly, but then face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I have been fully known." - 1 Corinthians 13:12

smiles were made, dear, for people like us

In true Emily Chapman fashion, I missed Ain't We Got Fun's two-year birthday yesterday. Let's pause for a moment. Yesterday marks two years since my dear friend and co-author Emily Ann Putzke and I published our 1930's epistolary novella. Since then, Ain't We Got Fun has popped up for sale on countless internet bookstores, including Barnes & Noble, Walmart, and of course, Amazon. Shout out to every follower of Second Star who has read our little story! And shout out to those first readers, who read Ain't We Got Fun when we posted them in raw installments back in January of 2015.

To celebrate, Emily (or as I still call her, Gi) and I have placed the eBook version of Ain't We Got Fun on sale for a mere 99 cents. Consider it a thank you from us to you for all the love and support you have showered on us since the beginning! And spread the word! The more who read our story the merrier! (Also a review or two on Goodreads or Amazon would be welcomed cough cough shameless plug cough.)

.

love, Bess

a moment

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Taking a moment out of finals week to breathe and to note that:

The sky is robin's egg blue // the birds are singing // pizza and potatoes are cooking // La La Land is sitting, brand spanking new, on my desk // a warm breeze is drifting through // the windows are wide open // the bath tub is turning brown from washing little bare feet // the television chatters with Clifford the Big Red Dog // the tree branches sigh in the wind // the screen door slides and clacks // my phone buzzes with short, rosy texts  // there is grace to cover every single one of my nasty sins // & summer is coming, coming, coming.

 "how does a moment last forever?
how can a story never die?
it is love we must hold on to,
never easy, but we try."

To the college students cramming for finals and to everyone else hurrying, hurrying, hurrying through this even swifter life: take a moment. Breathe. Be. Life is short, but we needn't dwell on the shortness. Just breathe. Thank the Lord for joy. Be.

finding joy: a short note

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How I see: through a dark-colored glass of distaste, dissatisfaction, and jagged flaws.
How I want to see: through rose-colored glasses of color, life, and femininity.
How I see: into a world of shadowy precipices and frightening predators.
How I want to see: into a world of little joys, blue skies, and warm springtime.
How I see: focused on what I must do as if I am a slave to my own obligations.
How I want to see: focused on what I can do because I am free through the grace of Jesus.

"I want a life that sizzles and pops and makes me laugh out loud. I want to eat cold tangerines and sing out loud in the car with the windows open and wear pink shoes and stay up all night laughing and paint my walls the exact color of the sky right now. I want to sleep hard on clean white sheets and throw parties and eat ripe tomatoes and read books so good they make me jump up and down, and I want my everyday to make God belly laugh, glad that He gave life to someone who loves the gift." - Shauna Niequist

How I see: without an ounce of gratefulness.
How I want to see: with a heart overflowing with gratitude for everything from a smile from a coworker to an A on that English paper to spaghetti for dinner to the ability to love well.